November 26, 2015

September 4, 2014

Eat Right

Telling people what to eat is easy. Daily, nutrition facts are bombarded into the homes of innocent American citizens. They serve as ammunition for the next health-related conversation held while sitting in a booth at McDonalds . Most of the time, these facts are passed on to one person eating a salad, to the next new salad-eater in less detail than the original source (which is either neglected or forgotten). People assign truth to what they agree with, until they agree with a conflicting point. They only share their "life-changing"  health secrets to tell other people to change their habits. What most people know about nutrition is only that supposedly true fact they heard last along with what they have been hearing their whole life.

Most salads are missing one vital ingredient that can change your life. Fruits & vegetables are essential to any salad, but they do not balance meals by themselves. A portion of animal protein can act as a personal trainer to those wimpy plants. American grown rats are delicious animals that have higher nutritional value than the traditional farm animals. They are chalk full of vitamins, ligaments, fur, & protein, all of which not only whip the plants in shape, but you as well. Once you start eating rat salads, you'll have a seemingly endless amount of energy for both physical and mental exercise, similar to patients that have a prescription for encapsulated sugar.

The overall hesitant behavior related to eating rats is pointless now due to advances in technology. Do not be mislead, to hesitate eating a creature that helped spread the Bubonic Plague is only natural. Yet, a disease of that class does not have the right to stop people from enjoying this irresistible meal. Technology sent a man to the moon over 40 years ago. Any avoidance of rats is merely a prolonged superstition. Yes, parasites are a more up-to-date problem with rats, as well as chicken, insects, water, or anything else delicious & edible. Diseases such as swine flu & mad cow disease only caused a hiccup in the sale of pork & beef. Contracting salmonella is still a risk when scooping up a chicken caesar salad. Why are people fearlessly putting themselves at risk when plants do not spread disease? Electronic thermometers can tell you when the meat is fully-cooked, vaccines prevent pandemics, & if all else fails, doctors can cure most food-borne illnesses.

Brave the new frontier of the sewers & take the best of what nature has to offer! Eat a rat salad today!