January 13, 2014

Nü Band

The highly anticipated album by Soy Boys 49 is now available for a free download on their bandcamp!
They are our first band to be signed in 2014. Decide if they can compete with our veteran bands.

Upon listening to the album for the first time, I was overjoyed. Immediately, the anxieties of everyday life were brutally massacred with burning missiles delivered by the energetic, gleeful melodies. They beamed into the center of my brain, bringing light to a flawless world where every inch was incredibly fascinating. Without warning, another exuberant tune violently smashed my negative skull with one piercing blow, sending my mind spiraling through Wonderland. I laid on the ground trying to recover. Soy boys 49 showed me no mercy. They adorned cleats and proceeded to stomp the spikes into my flesh and drag their feet back towards themselves, shredding my swollen skin open. My guts rushed out onto the floor. I felt the warmth of my vital organs exit my body and wrap my hollowed soul like a damp blanket. I focused my eyes to look at the mess. Then, I realized what it meant. Every ounce of abhorrence, hatred, and hostility had been drained from me. I was free.
Soy boys 49 cleansed my character allowing me to transcend to the mental state of a hedonistic monk. Eternal bliss.
My new-found happiness motivated me to establish justice. With an unwavering smile I brought Soy Boys 49 to court to have them convicted for attempted murder. They were both found guilty and sentenced to serve twenty years in prison without parole.